And THAT’S why you don’t just barge in. Shoulda waited on the porch.

Come back this Thursday for the inaugural edition of The Purple Ninja: Truth to the Head! Because if you can’t trust a radiantly-hued assassin to solve all of your problems, who can you trust?

Edit: 2:30AM, 11/27 Our server mysteriously stopped allowing file uploads right before I set the Purple Ninja’s first column to publish. Clearly this is the work of Pirates. Unfortunately this means Truth to the Head will be delayed until our tech guy manages to sink their ship with a broadside cannonade.

And tune in tomorrow for the first episode of Dead.FM, Dead Gentlemen’s new weekly podcast. Episode Zero is online now, so give it a listen. Coming soon to Dead.FM, we’ve got music, interviews, and sketch comedy, including the old-timey radio adventures of Kentucky Blue Clay. Subscribe today so you don’t miss a single episode!